It's funny. The attitude that depression is for weak people used to get me so heated that I've fucked some people up for it before. It doesn't bother me now. It's just ignorance. It's hard to explain it to people that don't have it. Nothing has to trigger it, it just happens (...)
When I left that shit, I decided I was done with chemicals. For the last 6 years, I've been dealing with it mostly with meditation and marijuana. I cut drinking out altogether and I seldom take pills of any kind for any sort of pain or nausea. It still comes in waves, but for the most part I know what's going on and work around it. The best thing I can do for myself is stay busy. The busier I am, the less time I have to wallow in sorrow.
Which was my point exactly. When it really comes down to it, our minds and bodies did not evolve through the centuries for the society that we live in now. Our natural reward systems in our bodies isnt meant to reward us for sitting in a chair all day, lounging on the couch, watching tv, playing video games and being online all day. I get the chemicals in the brain side of depression and what a nightmare that can be (post partum... yay), but for the most part all of the "depressed" people I know are almost always the same group of people.... inactive, overweight, shit diet, not a lot going on for them, not doing anything to change it besides taking pills. Those pills will alter the chemistry of your brain but they wont clean up the rest of your life. If its your life that you are down about, even in the dark corners of your mind where you like to hide harsh thruths from yourself, those pills wont do shit for you.
I've just never seen myself hiding from harsh truths. I'm actually really aware of the things about myself that have caused my failures and they don't really bother me that much. Depression is a whole different thing. It's more like "none of this matters, so why should I even get out of bed today". That's my battle.
It's funny. The attitude that depression is for weak people used to get me so heated that I've fucked some people up for it before. It doesn't bother me now. It's just ignorance. It's hard to explain it to people that don't have it. Nothing has to trigger it, it just happens (...)
When I left that shit, I decided I was done with chemicals. For the last 6 years, I've been dealing with it mostly with meditation and marijuana. I cut drinking out altogether and I seldom take pills of any kind for any sort of pain or nausea. It still comes in waves, but for the most part I know what's going on and work around it. The best thing I can do for myself is stay busy. The busier I am, the less time I have to wallow in sorrow.
Which was my point exactly. When it really comes down to it, our minds and bodies did not evolve through the centuries for the society that we live in now. Our natural reward systems in our bodies isnt meant to reward us for sitting in a chair all day, lounging on the couch, watching tv, playing video games and being online all day. I get the chemicals in the brain side of depression and what a nightmare that can be (post partum... yay), but for the most part all of the "depressed" people I know are almost always the same group of people.... inactive, overweight, shit diet, not a lot going on for them, not doing anything to change it besides taking pills. Those pills will alter the chemistry of your brain but they wont clean up the rest of your life. If its your life that you are down about, even in the dark corners of your mind where you like to hide harsh thruths from yourself, those pills wont do shit for you.
I'm overweight, but I have my shit together. Job, school, I'm happy with where I'm at. Fuck pills. Never once even thought about taking that shit. I have never once believed that depression is/was a battle that could be won artificially.
Ive never been completely serious about suicide though. I thank my brother for that. Thats the part of depression I dont understand. I guess Ive never had it to that extreme. Although sometimes I wish I could die and see what people say and truly think about me.
I never understood the desire either until this past winter. I saw it as a way of escaping myself and my mind.
It never really entered my thought process as "I want to kill myself", just that I wanted my mind to shut the fuck up. Thankfully the episode ended on its own but I'm wary of descending back into that state of mind again. Hopefully just pursuing what I actually want to do and being more social will stave that shit off.
Also I completely agree with what Jobe said, modern society isn't really harmonious to the human experience at all. Being active in the middle of nowhere all summer really made me reevaluate what I want out of life.
not to be racist or anything but im at my go to bar and theres these two black guys in wifebeaters at the booth to the left and theyve got like six killed baskets of wings and they just yelled for more. im pretty amused.
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Which was my point exactly. When it really comes down to it, our minds and bodies did not evolve through the centuries for the society that we live in now. Our natural reward systems in our bodies isnt meant to reward us for sitting in a chair all day, lounging on the couch, watching tv, playing video games and being online all day. I get the chemicals in the brain side of depression and what a nightmare that can be (post partum... yay), but for the most part all of the "depressed" people I know are almost always the same group of people.... inactive, overweight, shit diet, not a lot going on for them, not doing anything to change it besides taking pills. Those pills will alter the chemistry of your brain but they wont clean up the rest of your life. If its your life that you are down about, even in the dark corners of your mind where you like to hide harsh thruths from yourself, those pills wont do shit for you.
My cousin is in shape. Most fit person I know. Works out daily. Eats right. And he still struggles with depression too.
I've just never seen myself hiding from harsh truths. I'm actually really aware of the things about myself that have caused my failures and they don't really bother me that much. Depression is a whole different thing. It's more like "none of this matters, so why should I even get out of bed today". That's my battle.
I'm overweight, but I have my shit together. Job, school, I'm happy with where I'm at. Fuck pills. Never once even thought about taking that shit. I have never once believed that depression is/was a battle that could be won artificially.
Marijuana is the cure
I never understood the desire either until this past winter. I saw it as a way of escaping myself and my mind.
It never really entered my thought process as "I want to kill myself", just that I wanted my mind to shut the fuck up. Thankfully the episode ended on its own but I'm wary of descending back into that state of mind again. Hopefully just pursuing what I actually want to do and being more social will stave that shit off.
Also I completely agree with what Jobe said, modern society isn't really harmonious to the human experience at all. Being active in the middle of nowhere all summer really made me reevaluate what I want out of life.
I'm complying with my arms out to the side. Please tase me and stick your knee in the back of my neck.
I always support staying active but it's more complicated than that and people try to understand through a non sick mind set which is impossible
Sheep numbers in NZ have dropped below 30 million (back in the 1980's we had 70 million).And we have 4.4 million people
"First nigger president and you see what happens" -Todd
inb4 Todd's hungover
:-??
Dumb bitch just gave me money at the liquor store. Paid with the 10 she gave me 11 bucks back
that stomach acid comment was obviously a shot and leah
not to be racist or anything but im at my go to bar and theres these two black guys in wifebeaters at the booth to the left and theyve got like six killed baskets of wings and they just yelled for more. im pretty amused.
Fuck
)