I'm lower than I have ever been right now... Just got off Skype with my mom, and just talking about school depressed the fuck out of me. I'm going nowhere in life. I've lost all my drive and focus. My passion is drying up. I'm a failure. Straight up. Haven't so much as wrote a song in a year. Can't find a band. I feel like I've plateaued as a guitarist. My music "career" is dead. My blog is dead. Haven't recorded anybody outside of class last year. Not that I have that people would have me to produce anyways when it seems like everyone around me is more talented and better equipped for the job. I'm actually doing well in school this year. So far straight As. But I'm just going through the motions of class. All my friends are back home, doing their own things. Working on their lives. My brother is off at college. Nobody needs me anymore. I used to feel like I had some sort of "leadership" role in my friend group. Thought I was somebody my friends and brother looked up to, or could come to in a bind. But I don't feel that way anymore. I honestly feel like I will die alone. That all my friends and family will have moved on, and gotten married and families and all that, I will be living alone for the rest of my life - watching as everyone I care about moves on with their lives. And the thing is, I don't know what I can do to make it any better. I like playing videogames, and watching bullshit TV, and reading comics - and don't want to cut that out of my life. But it also isn't all that fullfilling, nor advancing to my goals. They're important to who I am, but they're just past-times. I don't know what would make me happy at this point. And I'm at the point where I'm seriously thinking about giving up on my dreams, and getting a regular job and living life like a regular Jack-off. Because when I honestly think about it: I'm not talented enough, nor unique enough to make it in the music industry. At this school, I look around me and I constantly see people already making it happen. People who were already making it happen before they even left high school. I'm behind. Way behind. And at this point I don't think I can catch up to the level of success and creativity my peers, and competition possess.
And the sad thing is, I'm starting to think about suicide again. I'm not suicidal. Do not confuse it with that. I do not want to kill myself. Mainly because I do not want to hurt my friends and family, and make them feel guilty or sad. But I'm thinking about it in the sense that I'm ok with dying.
I'm lower than I have ever been right now... Just got off Skype with my mom, and just talking about school depressed the fuck out of me. I'm going nowhere in life. I've lost all my drive and focus. My passion is drying up. I'm a failure. Straight up. Haven't so much as wrote a song in a year. Can't find a band. I feel like I've plateaued as a guitarist. My music "career" is dead. My blog is dead. Haven't recorded anybody outside of class last year. Not that I have that people would have me to produce anyways when it seems like everyone around me is more talented and better equipped for the job. I'm actually doing well in school this year. So far straight As. But I'm just going through the motions of class. All my friends are back home, doing their own things. Working on their lives. My brother is off at college. Nobody needs me anymore. I used to feel like I had some sort of "leadership" role in my friend group. Thought I was somebody my friends and brother looked up to, or could come to in a bind. But I don't feel that way anymore. I honestly feel like I will die alone. That all my friends and family will have moved on, and gotten married and families and all that, I will be living alone for the rest of my life - watching as everyone I care about moves on with their lives. And the thing is, I don't know what I can do to make it any better. I like playing videogames, and watching bullshit TV, and reading comics - and don't want to cut that out of my life. But it also isn't all that fullfilling, nor advancing to my goals. They're important to who I am, but they're just past-times. I don't know what would make me happy at this point. And I'm at the point where I'm seriously thinking about giving up on my dreams, and getting a regular job and living life like a regular Jack-off. Because when I honestly think about it: I'm not talented enough, nor unique enough to make it in the music industry. At this school, I look around me and I constantly see people already making it happen. People who were already making it happen before they even left high school. I'm behind. Way behind. And at this point I don't think I can catch up to the level of success and creativity my peers, and competition possess.
And the sad thing is, I'm starting to think about suicide again. I'm not suicidal. Do not confuse it with that. I do not want to kill myself. Mainly because I do not want to hurt my friends and family, and make them feel guilty or sad. But I'm thinking about it in the sense that I'm ok with dying.
>:D<
MC you have loads of friends, know lots about music and are passionate about it. Join some clubs or take up a sport. Get involved in shit and don't mope around at home on the Internet
You finally acknowledged your problem. There's your start. Be proactive. That's all I'll tell you cause it'll prolly go in one ear and out the other wit you. I was in that exact same mindset.
I agree with Erik 100%.
Have those words ever been used here in that order?
>failed a critical listening quiz >no worry, I get two attempts > study the first attempt, and listen to those sound files. >think I have it >second attempt >fail second attempt >WHAT THE FUCK!? >compare the two attempts, same sound files, different order. I answered what the first attempt said was right. >this is some fuck-shit.
When I can see the answers after my attempts, and the answers don't match for the same sound files (especially when my attempt 2 is giving me what I answered for attempt 1, and vise versa) there is some fuck shit. They're the exact same sound file.
Buddy told my other buddy who is pretty much a chick about everything that I fucked his friend in the pool. Dudes irate for no reason and blowing my shit up like some grade school bs. )
I bought some milk the other day, and forgot to check when it went bad by. Went bad yesterday. I opened the carton today. Thought "eh, its only been one day, and I just opened it. It doesn't smell bad, and its consistency is fine, so what the hell?" And have been drinking it all day. And now my stomach really hurts. I hope I just have to take a massive shit, and that I didn't get sick.
going on ratemyprofessors and getting the best one for this shitty class to make the best of a bad situation, and then having him take an loa two weeks into class, and having him replaced by some canadian cunt who wont spend more than 20 seconds on a powerpoint slide, then tells us "these wont be available online"
Comments
time to evacuate the ship!
Have those words ever been used here in that order?
So now what MC?
>no worry, I get two attempts
> study the first attempt, and listen to those sound files.
>think I have it
>second attempt
>fail second attempt
>WHAT THE FUCK!?
>compare the two attempts, same sound files, different order. I answered what the first attempt said was right.
>this is some fuck-shit.
suck my dick