So...my girlfriend is the funniest person I know, irl. She's kinda self conscious about being funny though, so most of the time she just ends up whispering shit in my ear when we go out. Anyways, we went to the Moose Lodge at first last night. It took 30 minutes of us going back and forth down the road to find the damn place because the sign looked like a Real Estate sales sign and the driveway to it was shared by a auto dealership. We walked in around 11:15 and my friend's band was still playing. I actually knew a bunch of people there, but I made a bee line for the bar. The bar was on the other side of the lodge from the music and you had to go through 2 mostly empty rooms to get to it. It was this strange other world. On one side, you have my film fag friends and their hipster band playing, on the other there's a 70 year old woman doing karaoke with a bunch of old drunk dudes in camo. Then I found out the bar was cash only and the ATM was out of order. By the time I get back over to the other side, drinkless, my girlfriend has already texted me saying she wants to leave. I get in the room and there's my ex-girlfriend drunk as a skunk trying to hug up on me. So we gtfo, but don't really know where to go so just kinda ended up driving aimlessly looking for a bar. The winner ended up being a shithole called "the sports grill" and it looked like 'Cheers' when we get inside. It had that heavy incestuous bar vibe to it. Like when we walked in, you could tell we were the only people there that weren't gonna be there every other day this week. It's like 11:40 by this point so I'm like" wtfever, let's get fucked up!" and order 2 shots of Maker's Mark. We down those pretty quick and I get another round, this time of Jim Beam. We tear through those. About 10 minutes have passed, so they are turning off the sports and turning on the countdown shows, handing out shots of champagne and party hats. There's about 40 people in the place and about 35 of em are dudes, most of which are drooling over my girlfriend. It's kinda awkward, but I'm getting loaded and giving a fat 0 by that time. Anyways, we do the countdown, drunk our toasts, do the kiss, all that jazz. So now I'm drunk and so is my girl and we still have all these thirsty niggaz around us doing whatever they can to talk to us. She was telling some guy about how funny I am and how I used to to standup comedy. I tell him she's funnier than I am and she coaxes him into buying us shots so we'll tell him jokes. It kinda morphs into her warning everyone that to be funny, she has to put her "hater hat" on (lulz) and they can't be offended. We got like 10 people around us by this point trying to get hip to what's going on. We've had about 4 free shots by this time, so it's partae mode afaic and my girlfriend just starts going off on niggaz left and right, dogging on everything from their hats to their shoes to their teeth. She went all in. I was dying. It was a little awkward because she was going ham on a couple of them and how ugly they were, but everyone was lapping it up. So the free booze just keeps coming for about an hour before everything dies down and we decided to leave. I downed 2 shots of Makers, 5 of Jim Beam, the champagne toast and 3 Irish Car Bombs. She went through the Makers, about 6 shots of Beam and the toast. I get my bill and only got taxed for $27 @-) \:D/ Shit was so cash. And since we were mostly drinking high end and the same type of drink for the most part, hangovers today were minimal. Fuckin A
tl;dr: got drunk and watched my girlfriend burn some drunks while they bought me shots
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~O)
tl;dr: got drunk and watched my girlfriend burn some drunks while they bought me shots
And i had previous plans, but due to neighbors bitching, it didn't work out the way we'd planned.
:-?