Dadisms

Rex_Capone420

Figured we needed a dad thread for us old men. 

Today i woke up and my first thought was “ phew, we needed that rain”

dad af

ThatGuyArlo

I got pretty excited the other week after I got approved for a travel rewards credit card.

Jobe_Wan_Kenobi

ThatGuyArlo said:

I got pretty excited the other week after I got approved for a travel rewards credit card.

What kind of rewards ya getting?

ThatGuyArlo

Well, I guess that's the right name for it, but it accumulates miles to use for plane tickets. Never had one before. 

Jobe_Wan_Kenobi

Who touched the thermostat?

*stares at Marco*

SATAN

I can’t sleep if it’s over 73

ThatGuyArlo

SATAN said:

I can’t sleep if it’s over 73

I gotta keep my place cold enough for the covers to be practical, plus I need a fan on. 

SATAN

Same here

Rex_Capone420

Yeah im more of a 65 degreee guy with a fan on lol

mrAPE

Jobe_Wan_Kenobi said:

Who touched the thermostat?

*stares at Marco*

Whoever made this bullshit is not fat. 

Jobe_Wan_Kenobi

That was the Texas Governor’s AC temperature recommendations to conserve power during the heat wave because their energy grid sucks. 

Jobe_Wan_Kenobi

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

Been falling asleep at like 7pm in my recliner while watching TV. Dad mode engage

Jobe_Wan_Kenobi

Way to excited about rocks these days. Working on a rock garden around the AC unit. Didn’t want to do it the easy way and just go buy a load of rock from the concrete yard, so the wife and I have been hand selecting the rocks that go in the garden. Most have come from the beaches of Lake Superior. On the hunt everywhere I go now. 

“I’m gonna walk over there and go look for rocks” is a sentence I’ve said out load. 

Peak Dad Life. 

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

JESUS CHRIST THEY'RE MINERALS MARIE

Jobe_Wan_Kenobi

You’re not wrong either. 

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

So I was supposed to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday. I paid my insurance deductible which was a couple hundred bucks. But one of the teeth hadn't dropped enough so they only pulled 3.

I wake up after the procedure and they are telling my girl about this and the first thing out of my mouth high as fuck on anthesia is how I get my deductible back ) 

EpisodeMnH

Was hype af that I got a 50 pound bucket of salt for the aquarium for half off today. 🤘🏻🤘🏻

Xeno

If I get called daddy does it count

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

Been coming home to giant piles of dog shit in the grass in front of my house. We're in a townhome so it's not my front yard technically but the grassy area starts a few feet from my front door and wraps around the side of the building. 

Get a doorbell cam to see who it was. It's the neighbor two doors over. Go knock on her door last night and politely ask her to pick up her dogs shit when he shits in front of my house. She states back blankly and just says "OK sure" 

See her walk by the camera this morning and she looks right at the cam and says "Good FUCKING morning" like I did something wrong

Self absorbed bitch you're lucky I didn't sling that shit at your front door last night

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

Tl:Dr get off my lawn