Per Catz questioning and a slight nudge from Jobe, here is a strip club exploits thread. Stories, experiences, good times bad times and possibly even lucky sucky sucky, let's hear Em'.
I'll recount a classic just to get us started off; here's the time I took my fresh off the boat cousin to the strip club
Cousin arrives fresh of the boat last week >Mom begs me to take him out and do shit with him >Go to Downtown Chicago tonight >11 don't wanna go home yet >Ask him what he wants to do >Suggests Strip Club >Sweet, another arab heathen >You're 21 right? >"Yes" >Get to club >Bouncer knows me I'm good, checks cousins I.D. >"He ain't 21" >Cousin has no fucking knowledge that he is not 21 >Also speaks no English >Bouncer: "You're not 21." >"Yes" >Bouncer: "Do you know you're not 21?" >"Yes" >Bouncer: "Do you say yes to anything?" >"Yes" >Bouncer: "Your boy is a dumb ass bro." >"Yes" >Go home >No titties >Kinda irate
>Get to strip club >Get car parked by valet >head to the door >bouncer checks my id "good" >checks my friends gf's id "good" >checks my friends id >"Why does your id look like someone chopped it with scissors?" >my friend: "Cause the cop did it th last time I got pulled over because i haven't paid my parking tickets" >bouncer looks at card and looks at my friend and then gets another guy over to look at the card >"Sorry we can't accept that"
would have been nice to know that my friend's id was chopped up like a five year old was playing with scissors before we left.
Went a mile down the road to another club and they let him in doe. Bouncer still looked sketch af at the card
$20 to enter this is dumb i like titles though friend pays for lap dance for me because I’m being cheap “what did you think?” it was awkward get ready to leave hear Rammstein huh? look up girl starts doing her thing on stage goes to top of pole completely naked does backflip into splits on the floor my jaw now on the floor jesus I am impressed and it’s not just because of tits
that girl was amazing but in a time where Courtney and I were split up and we were having parties at the apartment with better looking girls and seeing naked girls there I just found it dumb to pay for. Still though the altheticism blew me away
You tryin to be a hero fool? You wanna see badass mother fucker?! I'll show ya a badass!!!
>See girl with a fucking banging body >"Damn, want to dance with her >She's far away from my table >Starts coming closer >My body is ready >Gets to our table >Oh dear God >Face looks like if Fiona from Shrek did Meth and got kicked in the face by Donkey >Fuck it, body is amazing >She starts grinding on me >Crotch comes level with my face >Gagged and had to hold some baby vomit in my throat >Her pussy smelled worse than most farms >Worst strip club experience I ever had >Never to Pole Katz again
I don't particularly like them, either. I'm not a fan of paying for what I can get for free. I did go a few times when I was a wee lad, though, and haz one good story:
It was prolly early 1998. It was cold af outside, so prolly January-sh. I was working at Masquerade, a club in Atlanta. A guy that worked security for a strip club showed up there one night and handed out a bunch of free passes to his club. So me and several other security guys got together on a Monday when the club was closed and hit the strip club. The area it was in had a row of strip clubs on it at the time.
So we went to that club for a while. I can't remember the name of it, but I remember it was something farm animal related, like "The Pig Pen" or something., which I thought was weird. We drank there for a while, then we bounced around to 2 or 3 more of them, making our way down the road. I was 19 at the time, so I was DD. We started out with about 10 guys, but as the night went on, people bailed and it ended up down to just me, my best friend at the time, Josh, and this one random guy that was a loner/weirdo barback. I didn't like to have much to do with the one guy because he was prolly pushing 30 and rumor had it he fucked a 13 year old runaway punk chick that used to squat near the club. His name was something basic af like Chris or Josh.
So we get done with the last club and everything is starting to close down. It's prolly 4am. These dudes are drunk af and don't wanna go home. I'm sober still and had been bored for about an hour at this point. I just wanna go to sleep, but they're both begging me to take them to this massage parlor they saw on the side of the road. They're offering to pay me and give me weed and shit, so I gave in and took em. We walk in and there's a "madam" and 3 girls there. They stand up in a line to be selected. The weirdo guy immediately jumps on the only really decent looking one; a tall, slim blonde girl. The others were a little Asian girl and a black girl with this absurd, huge Dolly Parton-looking wig on. Josh picks the black girl and takes her back. I dip out to the car and ball up in my jacket and fall asleep.
I don't really know how long it had been, but Josh wakes me up demanding to leave right away. I was kinda half out of it, so I crank the car and we get moving. Josh just keeps shouting "That stupid bitch! That stupid bitch!" Drunk af. So I finally realize about 5 minutes down the road that we had up left the other dude behind. So I turn back around. Josh flips the fuck out on me like "Why the fuck are you going back?". He was a dick like that, but I just couldn't bail on dude like that. He had been smoking me out all night for driving around.
So we get back, but neither of us want to go back inside. Me primarily because Josh's drunk ass still hasn't articulated what he was mad about and I was worried he had started some shit inside. So after a few minutes, I finally bite the bullet and go in to see if dude is finished. I get inside and the "madam" or whatever isn't up front. Nobody is. I hit a bell and the Asian girl comes up front. When I ask her questions, she acts like she can't understand. Then this big ass black dude comes from the back and tells me there's nobody there. I'm like "Wtf, I was just here.", but he was adamant that nobody was in the back and wouldn't let me back there. So I left and went home.
On the way home, Josh explains to me that the reason he was so pissed off was because the girl kept teasing him with her hair, saying that if he would pay her more money, he would get "more". So he had just continued to pay her and pay her until he was $200 in and it became apparent that she wasn't gonna jack him off. So he dropped about a weeks pay for some slut to swing her Dolly Parton wig in his lap. I was dying
I never saw the other guy again. He came back around to fetch his check a few weeks later, so he didn't die or anything, but I wasn't there and didn't get to talk to him. I never did find out what happened to him or how he got home.
Comments
Cousin arrives fresh of the boat last week
>Mom begs me to take him out and do shit with him
>Go to Downtown Chicago tonight
>11 don't wanna go home yet
>Ask him what he wants to do
>Suggests Strip Club
>Sweet, another arab heathen
>You're 21 right?
>"Yes"
>Get to club
>Bouncer knows me I'm good, checks cousins I.D.
>"He ain't 21"
>Cousin has no fucking knowledge that he is not 21
>Also speaks no English
>Bouncer: "You're not 21."
>"Yes"
>Bouncer: "Do you know you're not 21?"
>"Yes"
>Bouncer: "Do you say yes to anything?"
>"Yes"
>Bouncer: "Your boy is a dumb ass bro."
>"Yes"
>Go home
>No titties
>Kinda irate
[-(
blue turbins
From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
>Get car parked by valet
>head to the door
>bouncer checks my id "good"
>checks my friends gf's id "good"
>checks my friends id
>"Why does your id look like someone chopped it with scissors?"
>my friend: "Cause the cop did it th last time I got pulled over because i haven't paid my parking tickets"
>bouncer looks at card and looks at my friend and then gets another guy over to look at the card
>"Sorry we can't accept that"
would have been nice to know that my friend's id was chopped up like a five year old was playing with scissors before we left.
Went a mile down the road to another club and they let him in doe. Bouncer still looked sketch af at the card
$20 to enter
this is dumb
i like titles though
friend pays for lap dance for me because I’m being cheap
“what did you think?”
it was awkward
get ready to leave
hear Rammstein
huh?
look up
girl starts doing her thing on stage
goes to top of pole completely naked does backflip into splits on the floor
my jaw now on the floor
jesus I am impressed and it’s not just because of tits
that girl was amazing but in a time where Courtney and I were split up and we were having parties at the apartment with better looking girls and seeing naked girls there I just found it dumb to pay for. Still though the altheticism blew me away
>get nude dances
>that’ll be 180
>pay
>leave
>"Damn, want to dance with her
>She's far away from my table
>Starts coming closer
>My body is ready
>Gets to our table
>Oh dear God
>Face looks like if Fiona from Shrek did Meth and got kicked in the face by Donkey
>Fuck it, body is amazing
>She starts grinding on me
>Crotch comes level with my face
>Gagged and had to hold some baby vomit in my throat
>Her pussy smelled worse than most farms
>Worst strip club experience I ever had
>Never to Pole Katz again
It was prolly early 1998. It was cold af outside, so prolly January-sh. I was working at Masquerade, a club in Atlanta. A guy that worked security for a strip club showed up there one night and handed out a bunch of free passes to his club. So me and several other security guys got together on a Monday when the club was closed and hit the strip club. The area it was in had a row of strip clubs on it at the time.
So we went to that club for a while. I can't remember the name of it, but I remember it was something farm animal related, like "The Pig Pen" or something., which I thought was weird. We drank there for a while, then we bounced around to 2 or 3 more of them, making our way down the road. I was 19 at the time, so I was DD. We started out with about 10 guys, but as the night went on, people bailed and it ended up down to just me, my best friend at the time, Josh, and this one random guy that was a loner/weirdo barback. I didn't like to have much to do with the one guy because he was prolly pushing 30 and rumor had it he fucked a 13 year old runaway punk chick that used to squat near the club. His name was something basic af like Chris or Josh.
So we get done with the last club and everything is starting to close down. It's prolly 4am. These dudes are drunk af and don't wanna go home. I'm sober still and had been bored for about an hour at this point. I just wanna go to sleep, but they're both begging me to take them to this massage parlor they saw on the side of the road. They're offering to pay me and give me weed and shit, so I gave in and took em. We walk in and there's a "madam" and 3 girls there. They stand up in a line to be selected. The weirdo guy immediately jumps on the only really decent looking one; a tall, slim blonde girl. The others were a little Asian girl and a black girl with this absurd, huge Dolly Parton-looking wig on. Josh picks the black girl and takes her back. I dip out to the car and ball up in my jacket and fall asleep.
I don't really know how long it had been, but Josh wakes me up demanding to leave right away. I was kinda half out of it, so I crank the car and we get moving. Josh just keeps shouting "That stupid bitch! That stupid bitch!" Drunk af. So I finally realize about 5 minutes down the road that we had up left the other dude behind. So I turn back around. Josh flips the fuck out on me like "Why the fuck are you going back?". He was a dick like that, but I just couldn't bail on dude like that. He had been smoking me out all night for driving around.
So we get back, but neither of us want to go back inside. Me primarily because Josh's drunk ass still hasn't articulated what he was mad about and I was worried he had started some shit inside. So after a few minutes, I finally bite the bullet and go in to see if dude is finished. I get inside and the "madam" or whatever isn't up front. Nobody is. I hit a bell and the Asian girl comes up front. When I ask her questions, she acts like she can't understand. Then this big ass black dude comes from the back and tells me there's nobody there. I'm like "Wtf, I was just here.", but he was adamant that nobody was in the back and wouldn't let me back there. So I left and went home.
On the way home, Josh explains to me that the reason he was so pissed off was because the girl kept teasing him with her hair, saying that if he would pay her more money, he would get "more". So he had just continued to pay her and pay her until he was $200 in and it became apparent that she wasn't gonna jack him off. So he dropped about a weeks pay for some slut to swing her Dolly Parton wig in his lap. I was dying
I never saw the other guy again. He came back around to fetch his check a few weeks later, so he didn't die or anything, but I wasn't there and didn't get to talk to him. I never did find out what happened to him or how he got home.