6. Fed up with his self righteous, holier than thou, and condescending attitutude Bianca dressed in a pure mink coat with leather boots and hitchhiked across the plains of the USA, travelling by night and only eating berries and road kill that she found along the way, catching a lift only with Amish folks for fear of leaving an identifiable carbon footprint, and in exchange for unlubricated butt sex she finally made her way to Wakes 6000sq foot mansion, crept thru his house after deactivating his crappy security system and tip toed silently (except for the occasional noisy passing of wind) on genuine Indian moccasins in the dead of night to his bedside where she drapped a pair of her ravishing red panties across his nose and suffocated him with a sadistic and gleeful chortle as she ate a peppermint swirl cupcake and scratch at a pimple on her left butt cheek
10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51. Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping... Holy fucking shit! Then the X-Files being, Wake, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa, did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants." And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, Wake revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You... are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not." Me. The Chosen One? They chose me!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!
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From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)
Bianca dressed in a pure mink coat with leather boots and hitchhiked across the plains of the USA, travelling by night and only eating berries and road kill that she found along the way, catching a lift only with Amish folks for fear of leaving an identifiable carbon footprint, and in exchange for unlubricated butt sex she finally made her way to Wakes 6000sq foot mansion, crept thru his house after deactivating his crappy security system and tip toed silently (except for the occasional noisy passing of wind) on genuine Indian moccasins in the dead of night to his bedside where she drapped a pair of her ravishing red panties across his nose and suffocated him with a sadistic and gleeful chortle as she ate a peppermint swirl cupcake and scratch at a pimple on her left butt cheek
( or we'll call you Alex Wayne Bobbitt)
10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51.
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping... Holy fucking shit! Then the X-Files being, Wake, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa, did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants." And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, Wake revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You... are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not." Me. The Chosen One? They chose me!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!
Nice story
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