Categories
BEST ALBUM REVIEW OF ALL TIME.
Ghostface Killah's review of Tha Carter IV. Even if you haven't listened to the album, read this. Funniest shit I've ever read, had me in tears. At least read the review of How To Love if anything.
*inb4 TL;DR.*
Whattup yall its ya boy P-Tone aka the Hands Of Zeus namsayin. I aint really gon waste too much time wit the introductions tho namsayin. Yall probably want a nigga to get rite into this shit. Word is bond. Niggas been waitin on this album for bout 3 years n shit. After son dropped his bullshit "rock" album tho....a few less niggas was waitin on this shit. Then he dropped the joint wit his crew Young Money n it was even fewer niggas waitin nahmean. Truth be told tho... thats more of a bouquet of niggas than a crew son. Im jus sayin b....maybe pluck Gunz outta that shit tho. Millz aint exactly horrible neither but he been gettin stale as fuck lately. The rest a them niggas is lightweight tho...so what you expect par? When he dropped the I Am Not A Human Being shit he seemed to be gettin back to his Dedication/Drought shit tho...so niggas started anticipatin his shit again. But then he dropped the single (you kno the one) n niggas jus abandoned this muthafucka period. Now he relyin on 12 yr old broads n the pedophile niggas that need his music in order to lure 12 yr old broads to they car for all his sales. Pretty much eybody else jus gon find a mediafire link n leave it at that son. Unless this shit actually proves niggas wrong yo. Who knows namsayin. Anyways...the god aint gon judge this shit til he gives it a listen first. So Imma chill.
1. Intro - I aint mad at this beat. This shit actually sound official. But son said "Boy Im goin in.....like my water broke" Yup....Drake wrote this shit.
2. Blunt Blowin - This shit starts out soundin like some Final Fantasy shit...but it starts to masculine up a little when the hook comes in. But then Im like hold up....this shit sound familiar yo. This nigga aint really...oh nah....yeah he did....son "borrowed" the hook from a Pat Benatar joint. For all yall 90s babies readin this shit...Pat Benatar was kinda like the Katy Perry of the 80s yo...only her joints wasnt all wack as fuck. But I aint really sweatin that jack move like that b. Either way tho.... I still aint really crazy bout this shit son. Plus the nigga talkin bout Ashton Kutcher, shootin hummingbirds n droppin suspect bars like "I do it for the money...man I am such a hooker" Yup....Drake probably wrote this one too b.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vy-QmgdUVTI&feature=player_embedded
3. MegaMan - This shit also happen to be produced by a nigga named MegaMan. I dont kno who the fuck that is but the nigga Wayne need to get more creative wit these titles b. This beat knocks in the whip but still sounds like a beat I heard sumthin like 9000,1000000,000 times tho fam. Also yo.... I get how niggas bend they rhymes n try to make that shit fit together when the words dont even rhyme no type a way at all yo....like mad southern niggas get away wit that shit cos they got the drawls n twangs n shit (whattup Drake)....but when this nigga rhymed "Burger King" wit "surgery" I had to stop my hand from hittin the skip on that shit nahmean. Son also doin that extra high pitched shit wit his voice that he started fuckin wit round the time he made No Ceilings....which you might think at least ONE nigga in his entourage had told him is annoying as fuck by now. Even tho the rhymes is stupid wack on this one...the shit wasnt as effeminate as the last joint...so I dont think Drizzzay wrote this shit son.
4. 6 Foot 7 Foot (ft Cory Gunz) - I still fucks wit this joint. The niggas voice is on that fingernails on the chalkboard while chewin tinfoil shit again...but the beat is still kinda catchy nahmean. The little nigga Cory Gunz stole the show on this one yo. The corny Wayne bars got me thinkin this probably got Drizzy fingerprints on em anyways....so it never was really Gunz vs Weezy nahmean. Still...I fucks wit it.
5. Nightmares Of The Bottom - When this beat dropped all I could think was why the fuck would son throw a lullaby on at track 5? Like you really wanna have niggas fallin asleep this early into ya album fam? So Im startin to doze off n shit but then this nigga says "Im lookin in my rearview...I see the world in it....I try to slow down....n I get rear-ended". N like THAT...ya boy wide awake all over again yo. But now Im thinkin bout the fuckin line for the rest of the song nahmean. Son even had the nerve to "pause" that shit. Son you cant pause THAT. The fuck you mean? "I get rear-ended - PAUSE". Son the line wasnt even fly to begin wit....shit wasnt worth compromisin ya fuckin manhood over son. If you gay n you wanna say some homogetical shit like that its cool...Tone aint no homophobe b. I aint sweatin that namsayin. But this nigga been confusin niggas for a minute now nahmean (Exhibit A below). Word yo.....The homie Young Angel definitely wrote this shit too b.
6. She Will (ft Drake) - This shit aint exactly incredible....but I actually kinda fucks wit it. Only KINDA tho...Cos real talk son...this shit sound kinda like a rapist anthem b. Niggas soundin like they aint worried bout no damn consent at all yo. Matter fact this probably the most rapiest soundin shit since Kanye did that "Drunk n Hot Girls" joint wit Mos Def. You can practically hear Drake spittin these bars tho....probably cos he wrote em too. Matter fact this joint jus sounds like a straight Aubrey joint wit Weezy's voice on it instead. This sound like some shit where Aubrey was probably innocently makin the joint in the studio n the nigga Wayne dropped in while he was listenin to the playback. Son was probably like "Ayo Young Angel...this shit cool...thanks for the song, wodie. This MY song now nigga.....ayaaaackhhh" n then put the nigga in a headlock n gave him a noogie n shit. Drizzy mighta cried hisself to sleep that nite tho.
7. How To Hate - Cant believe I had to listen to almost 1:40 min of T-Pain doin that wack shit he does (you kno...where he opens his mouth n sounds come out) before the nigga Wayne even started spittin yo. But soon as the nigga did....I actually just wanted him to stop nahmean. "When it Waynes it pours"? Cmon son..... Like forreal b? Anyhow yo...case yall aint notice...this is basically the hook from Shut It Down son. Nah not the classic Public Enemy joint son...that tampon commercial from Drizzys first album b. Niggas thinkin they slick recyclin melodies n addin a bunch a OH OH AHHHS to that shit tho? This shit is jus mad bitchy yo. Wouldnt be surprised if these niggas went swimmin wit dolphins together after they made this shit son. Shit is jus drippin wit progesterones b. This nigga said "All I had to do was put 2 n 2 together...but that jus makes 4...but not forever...damn"....Yup Drizzy wrote this shit too son.
8. Interlude (ft. Tech N9ne & Andre 3000) - Now how fucked up is it that the best joint so far on WEEZY's album is the joint that he dont even rhyme on yo? Son jus gon let these niggas Hov his album tho on some Memphis Bleek shit. Aint like he was givin Gudda Gudda a chance to spit summa his struggle bars on this joint. Nah he let two certified beasts hop on this joint...n both a them went apeshit on this muthafucka. Son mighta jus heard these niggas snap on this beat n was like...."ummmm.... ya kno....Imma jus chill n let yall have this joint cos I left my rhymes at home n shit yall....Imma add my verse to this shit tomorrow....I gotta sore throat anyways...." n then he jus aint never even bothered. Nothin for Drake to see here yo.........
9. John (ft. Rick Ross) - First time I heard this shit was bout a month or so ago... I wasnt really feelin it back then tho. I think I prefer it to most a the other joints on this album so far tho nahmean. Maybe thats why the shit is growin on me now. Anyways....one thing I noticed is not only do a lotta Lex Luger beats sound alike...but now even Pollow Da Don beats sound like Lex Luger beats. This shit actuallysounds like a Ricky Rozay joint featurin Lil Wayne...cos this beat was pretty much already on his last album yo....twice. Pollow thinkin nobody gon notice if he sped up the MC Hammer or BMF joint. If Drizzzzzzay had any part in this shit...son mighta had a whole beer before he wrote anything nahmean. These bars are a little tougher....
10. Abortion - This beat kinda ok... Sons jus spittin nonsense on it tho. The whole thing kinda mediocre in actuality.
*inb4 TL;DR.*
Whattup yall its ya boy P-Tone aka the Hands Of Zeus namsayin. I aint really gon waste too much time wit the introductions tho namsayin. Yall probably want a nigga to get rite into this shit. Word is bond. Niggas been waitin on this album for bout 3 years n shit. After son dropped his bullshit "rock" album tho....a few less niggas was waitin on this shit. Then he dropped the joint wit his crew Young Money n it was even fewer niggas waitin nahmean. Truth be told tho... thats more of a bouquet of niggas than a crew son. Im jus sayin b....maybe pluck Gunz outta that shit tho. Millz aint exactly horrible neither but he been gettin stale as fuck lately. The rest a them niggas is lightweight tho...so what you expect par? When he dropped the I Am Not A Human Being shit he seemed to be gettin back to his Dedication/Drought shit tho...so niggas started anticipatin his shit again. But then he dropped the single (you kno the one) n niggas jus abandoned this muthafucka period. Now he relyin on 12 yr old broads n the pedophile niggas that need his music in order to lure 12 yr old broads to they car for all his sales. Pretty much eybody else jus gon find a mediafire link n leave it at that son. Unless this shit actually proves niggas wrong yo. Who knows namsayin. Anyways...the god aint gon judge this shit til he gives it a listen first. So Imma chill.
1. Intro - I aint mad at this beat. This shit actually sound official. But son said "Boy Im goin in.....like my water broke" Yup....Drake wrote this shit.
2. Blunt Blowin - This shit starts out soundin like some Final Fantasy shit...but it starts to masculine up a little when the hook comes in. But then Im like hold up....this shit sound familiar yo. This nigga aint really...oh nah....yeah he did....son "borrowed" the hook from a Pat Benatar joint. For all yall 90s babies readin this shit...Pat Benatar was kinda like the Katy Perry of the 80s yo...only her joints wasnt all wack as fuck. But I aint really sweatin that jack move like that b. Either way tho.... I still aint really crazy bout this shit son. Plus the nigga talkin bout Ashton Kutcher, shootin hummingbirds n droppin suspect bars like "I do it for the money...man I am such a hooker" Yup....Drake probably wrote this one too b.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vy-QmgdUVTI&feature=player_embedded3. MegaMan - This shit also happen to be produced by a nigga named MegaMan. I dont kno who the fuck that is but the nigga Wayne need to get more creative wit these titles b. This beat knocks in the whip but still sounds like a beat I heard sumthin like 9000,1000000,000 times tho fam. Also yo.... I get how niggas bend they rhymes n try to make that shit fit together when the words dont even rhyme no type a way at all yo....like mad southern niggas get away wit that shit cos they got the drawls n twangs n shit (whattup Drake)....but when this nigga rhymed "Burger King" wit "surgery" I had to stop my hand from hittin the skip on that shit nahmean. Son also doin that extra high pitched shit wit his voice that he started fuckin wit round the time he made No Ceilings....which you might think at least ONE nigga in his entourage had told him is annoying as fuck by now. Even tho the rhymes is stupid wack on this one...the shit wasnt as effeminate as the last joint...so I dont think Drizzzay wrote this shit son.
4. 6 Foot 7 Foot (ft Cory Gunz) - I still fucks wit this joint. The niggas voice is on that fingernails on the chalkboard while chewin tinfoil shit again...but the beat is still kinda catchy nahmean. The little nigga Cory Gunz stole the show on this one yo. The corny Wayne bars got me thinkin this probably got Drizzy fingerprints on em anyways....so it never was really Gunz vs Weezy nahmean. Still...I fucks wit it.
5. Nightmares Of The Bottom - When this beat dropped all I could think was why the fuck would son throw a lullaby on at track 5? Like you really wanna have niggas fallin asleep this early into ya album fam? So Im startin to doze off n shit but then this nigga says "Im lookin in my rearview...I see the world in it....I try to slow down....n I get rear-ended". N like THAT...ya boy wide awake all over again yo. But now Im thinkin bout the fuckin line for the rest of the song nahmean. Son even had the nerve to "pause" that shit. Son you cant pause THAT. The fuck you mean? "I get rear-ended - PAUSE". Son the line wasnt even fly to begin wit....shit wasnt worth compromisin ya fuckin manhood over son. If you gay n you wanna say some homogetical shit like that its cool...Tone aint no homophobe b. I aint sweatin that namsayin. But this nigga been confusin niggas for a minute now nahmean (Exhibit A below). Word yo.....The homie Young Angel definitely wrote this shit too b.
6. She Will (ft Drake) - This shit aint exactly incredible....but I actually kinda fucks wit it. Only KINDA tho...Cos real talk son...this shit sound kinda like a rapist anthem b. Niggas soundin like they aint worried bout no damn consent at all yo. Matter fact this probably the most rapiest soundin shit since Kanye did that "Drunk n Hot Girls" joint wit Mos Def. You can practically hear Drake spittin these bars tho....probably cos he wrote em too. Matter fact this joint jus sounds like a straight Aubrey joint wit Weezy's voice on it instead. This sound like some shit where Aubrey was probably innocently makin the joint in the studio n the nigga Wayne dropped in while he was listenin to the playback. Son was probably like "Ayo Young Angel...this shit cool...thanks for the song, wodie. This MY song now nigga.....ayaaaackhhh" n then put the nigga in a headlock n gave him a noogie n shit. Drizzy mighta cried hisself to sleep that nite tho.
7. How To Hate - Cant believe I had to listen to almost 1:40 min of T-Pain doin that wack shit he does (you kno...where he opens his mouth n sounds come out) before the nigga Wayne even started spittin yo. But soon as the nigga did....I actually just wanted him to stop nahmean. "When it Waynes it pours"? Cmon son..... Like forreal b? Anyhow yo...case yall aint notice...this is basically the hook from Shut It Down son. Nah not the classic Public Enemy joint son...that tampon commercial from Drizzys first album b. Niggas thinkin they slick recyclin melodies n addin a bunch a OH OH AHHHS to that shit tho? This shit is jus mad bitchy yo. Wouldnt be surprised if these niggas went swimmin wit dolphins together after they made this shit son. Shit is jus drippin wit progesterones b. This nigga said "All I had to do was put 2 n 2 together...but that jus makes 4...but not forever...damn"....Yup Drizzy wrote this shit too son.
8. Interlude (ft. Tech N9ne & Andre 3000) - Now how fucked up is it that the best joint so far on WEEZY's album is the joint that he dont even rhyme on yo? Son jus gon let these niggas Hov his album tho on some Memphis Bleek shit. Aint like he was givin Gudda Gudda a chance to spit summa his struggle bars on this joint. Nah he let two certified beasts hop on this joint...n both a them went apeshit on this muthafucka. Son mighta jus heard these niggas snap on this beat n was like...."ummmm.... ya kno....Imma jus chill n let yall have this joint cos I left my rhymes at home n shit yall....Imma add my verse to this shit tomorrow....I gotta sore throat anyways...." n then he jus aint never even bothered. Nothin for Drake to see here yo.........
9. John (ft. Rick Ross) - First time I heard this shit was bout a month or so ago... I wasnt really feelin it back then tho. I think I prefer it to most a the other joints on this album so far tho nahmean. Maybe thats why the shit is growin on me now. Anyways....one thing I noticed is not only do a lotta Lex Luger beats sound alike...but now even Pollow Da Don beats sound like Lex Luger beats. This shit actuallysounds like a Ricky Rozay joint featurin Lil Wayne...cos this beat was pretty much already on his last album yo....twice. Pollow thinkin nobody gon notice if he sped up the MC Hammer or BMF joint. If Drizzzzzzay had any part in this shit...son mighta had a whole beer before he wrote anything nahmean. These bars are a little tougher....
10. Abortion - This beat kinda ok... Sons jus spittin nonsense on it tho. The whole thing kinda mediocre in actuality.
Comments
12. How To Love - Now I kno yall already heard this shit....I almost skipped reviewin this joint cos I aint really wanna say all the obvious shit you can say bout this shit son. But I might got some shit I gotta get off my chest first lord.... Whoever allowed this nigga to sit down n get his John Mayer on like this needs to get his ass beat down witta sock filled wit batteries son. This shit aint only soft b...its like softness wit techron my nigga. Son...first time I heard this joint it hurt my heart yo. I felt betrayed par. Like it really done came down to this shit b? This the shit yall muthafuckas is rockin wit now yo? Cmon son....where we gon draw line son? This is like listenin to kittens do ballet in slow motion yo. Its like bein showered wit ovaries n bellybuttons son. Its like this muthafucka jus slid on down a rainbow n landed in a big pool of estrogen before he made this shit b. Like this nigga jus pulled up in the drive-thru n ordered the McBitch combo wit extra cheese n a Diet Aveeno. Theres a whole kaleidoscope of homoeroticness happenin rite here son. Drizzy probably crochets mittens to this shit rite here yo. This that shit Drake listens to on his lavender iPod when he usin his flyin umbrella to get from point A to point B son. Rite now...as we speak...theres probably two niggas spoonin on a beach somewhere watchin eagles soar over mountains while they listen to this shit b. This song got a damn uterus son. This like some shit for niggas who rock Spanx b. I thought that when Wiz Khagina made Roll Up he hit us wit the softest shit of the last 5 years yo....like how was niggas gon outdo that shit? But THIS nigga done dropped the atomic bomb of baby thighs on us son. How does a nigga even listen to this shit yo? Im mad I had to hear this shit again at all yo. This nigga croonin wit his eyes closed like he tryna bring all the dolls in his room to life n shit....Nah fuck that shit son....I see a nigga listenin to this shit n Imma run up on him n explode him wit grenades b. I dont care if he drivin in a car wit his kids in it clappin they hands on some Kumbaya shit on they way to church son....I hear a nigga playin this shit in his whip n Imma pull him outta that shit n explode him wit grenades in front a his family b. Word is bond son. Anyways....I dont like this shit b.
13. President Carter - This shit is better. Sounds kinda like the joint Weezy did wit Dre a few years ago tho. But I aint mad at it. This shit got Drake's kitten paw prints all over it too tho. But luckily it aint the super bitchmade Drake wit the apron who bakes muffins over the beat on this shit tho. These the bars Drizzy starts spittin after he spends a weekend rollin round in his chopped El Camino down south holdin other niggas guns n mean muggin muthafuckas while he drive by throwin up B's hollerin 'Soo Woooop' while his security guards follow behind him so he can stay in touch wit "his roots". In the end...the shit got a couple corny lines....but I fucks wit it.
14. Its Good (ft Jadakiss & Drake) - Aka the "warning for Hov". I coulda sworn I was listenin to Lionel Richie's Hello at the beginning of this shit b... Anyways tho...guess niggas needed to get some shit off they chests on this shit. The nigga Kiss aint really throw any subliminals at Jay on this joint....but he should be ashamed for cosignin this bullshit. Unless he aint kno Weezy n his bottom bitch was gon "take shots at the throne" namsayin. This nigga Drizzy usin words like "comfy" n "munchies" to get his point across n shit. Then he rhymed "faded" wit "faded" wit "faded"...which niggas jus need to stop doin in general n shit. But its funny cos when the nigga gets on his angry shit he sounds like even more of a hoe son....thats jus bein honest wit yall. Listen to this nigga son. He sound like a angry cartoon hamster or some shit my nigga. SON...you are this nigga.....
Aint nobody EVER gon be afraid of you son. Matter fact you gotta be the biggest bitch on earth to even have one hair on ya neck slighty stand up cussa some shit that this nigga Aubrey jus spit on this track while he was gettin his ferocious on. This nigga probably sneezes out gummi bears son. If you punched this nigga in his stomach it would more than likely make a squeekin sound b. Fuckouttahere wit this shit Aubs. Then the nigga Weezy gon start throwin his two cents in talmbout "I'll take you out...thats a date nigga" n threatenin to kidnap Bey while he at it. These nigags is out they minds son. Word is bond. First off that nigga Drake already said he gon cry when Hov dies. Like you aint really got no way outta shit once you go on a song n say you gon cry when this nigga die son. Now you wanna try n massage ya way into dissin this nigga standin behind Weezy n Kiss tryin to flex ya muscles n shit fam? Nigga we done seen the pink canary n the owl tatted on ya back b. God forbid you go out in public n muthafuckas catch a upskirt n see the paw prints you got tatted up ya thighs son. N this nigga Wayne been already gone on record sayin how much he loves n adores the nigga. Now you mad? I cant listen to this fuckery no more son. Anyways how Wayne gon say "Nigga Im straight...my girl a faggot" knowin damn well that Drizzy standin rite there n heard what he said b?
15. Outro (ft. Bun B, Nas, Shyne & Busta Rhymes) - This got the same beat as the intro. Rite from the start...that nigga Bun set the bar THIS damn high...so I aint even kno if the rest a these niggas was gon be able to follow in his shoes...but niggas went in g. Ayo son...I jus wanna say I love that nigga Nas. Thats my muthafuckin man rite there yo. I missed the hunger in that nigga. N he been gettin shitted on for way too long...so its good to see my dude come alive on this shit b. This aint even the niggas lane son. But he snapped on this shit b. It aint the young Nasty Nas back all over...but son sounds hungry again at least. Salute that nigga son. Next the Black Rabbi Shyne is up to bat.....n even tho he soundin like a miniature Rawse on this shit...I aint really mad at his him. Busta does his usual Busta thing. I dont even remember the last time this nigga aint body a beat now. Its probably been a good 3 years now tho son. BUT....again its like the nigga Weezy jus said "naw wodie....Imma add my verse to this shit later...I forgot mines at home...." n then jus never did. So son let like 6 different niggas (sorry...not you Shyne...or you Aubs....n shame on you Jada) get on his album n body these beats...n he was only on one a the joints Im speakin bout. Nigga have a seat...
Bonus Tracks:
16. I Like The View - Wit all the faggotry on this album...this the joint he gon decide to leave off as a bonus track tho? I dont understand no more par. This beat goes son. I guess its whatever tho. Summa the rhymes is ass. Son talmbout "Mona Lisa smiles" n shit....word...you guessed it...Drizzy probably wrote this shit.
17. Mirror (ft Bruno Mars) - I feel like a bitch for even listenin to this whole song b. Congrats tho son...Vagina Monologues n Lilith Fair probably gon pay out the ass to get you to tour wit em nigga. This some shit for niggas who gotta apply Monistat 7 to they inflamed areas b. I dont fucks wit this shit at all yo.
18. Two Shots - This shit sounds like it was left off the I Am Not A Human Being joint. That aint necessarily a bad thing or nothin... But I dont even really wanna keep listenin to this shit to be honest fam....Im jus gettin bored n upset now yo.
19. Up Up And Away - This joint aint on the copy that I illegally downloaded son. Judgin by the title I dont even wanna hear this shit anyways namsayin.
Aight peace.
I have more important matters bothering me.
"I thought that when Wiz Khagina made Roll Up he hit us wit the softest shit of the last 5 years yo....like how was niggas gon outdo that shit? But THIS nigga done dropped the atomic bomb of baby thighs on us son.
Wu Tang Clan ain't nothin to fuck with.
Oh no he didn't!