Whenever i used to smoke with that kid, he would just go off on a free style. We had some good battles lol. Once we freestyled to no hands and we each had to legit verses. Man thats a good memory
Erik, your flow has improved by leaps and bounds and To watch it happen has really been astounding Just one thing I find dumbfounding you live in fucking suburbian town man You think you've have it so bad when The other kids, you don't understand them And your Dad wasn't there to wipe you after shittin Look around dude, who fucking didn't? That bullshit, we all went through it Life is rough and you'd better get used to it It makes you tough and pulls you through it Your life isn't so bad, you just lack perspective The weight of you're burderns have grown deceptive In this life you only get what you give Wallowing in misery is no way to live Smoke weed till you feel like the jolly green giant Then stand tall and continue to remain defiant Life will eat you alive if you remain silent But suburb problems are just a little trivial When in the rest of the world, shit is getting real War, famine, floods, earthquakes,disease and poverty Not "I want 4 Xbox games but Mom only bought me 3" Kids these days have no idea just how go they have it Now get off my lawn dagnabbit.
The good: Your writing is improving quite a bit. This rap was a lot more organized theme wise, where previous efforts were almost a collection of sentences that rhymed. This one was also more vivid with the words, so it created more of a story to be pictured in the mind. By far, you best effort yet. Btw, I only read the lyrics, haven't listen to it. "Today was black..." was favorite line.
The bad: Some of the wording was a little awkward or clumsy. Try to even out the flow of the rhymes a little more, and look for ways to line up the sentences to ryhme in more places any time you can.
The ugly:
You really do live in suburbia lol. You problems aren't that bad in the grand scheme of things, and most people are not got wanna hear the problems of a middle class white kid. Find strenght in your struggles, but dont dump them on people, they have there own shit to deal with.
I can see what you mean by "Find strenght in your struggles, but dont dump them on people, they have there own shit to deal with.", but I also use Hip Hop as my own way to vent. It helps me out a lot. That's exactly what I meant by the line "It's intervention with the beat, my one and only friend, the only one to listen and not drop me like outdated trends." Intervention as in, spilling everything out to the song and venting about all of it, talking about all my problems, etc.
But thanks a lot! \m/ That's actually exactly what I was going for with this. I was listening to Nightmare by Tyler, and it's the same concept, very deep song, spilling out all of his problems, and I wanted to go for that myself, and try to stick on one subject the entire song, as to form a sort of story, and although it was a lot harder to write, I'm very happy with the end result.
don't care. i think suburban white kids should be banned from rap music. they're 1/2 the reason hip hop is dead.
I think as long as they can rap, they're all good. I find rap to be dead because it's a boring genre that isn't making new stuff but just repeating the same stuff
There is some good rap out there but it all seems to be underground
Comments
To watch it happen has really been astounding
Just one thing I find dumbfounding
you live in fucking suburbian town man
You think you've have it so bad when
The other kids, you don't understand them
And your Dad wasn't there to wipe you after shittin
Look around dude, who fucking didn't?
That bullshit, we all went through it
Life is rough and you'd better get used to it
It makes you tough and pulls you through it
Your life isn't so bad, you just lack perspective
The weight of you're burderns have grown deceptive
In this life you only get what you give
Wallowing in misery is no way to live
Smoke weed till you feel like the jolly green giant
Then stand tall and continue to remain defiant
Life will eat you alive if you remain silent
But suburb problems are just a little trivial
When in the rest of the world, shit is getting real
War, famine, floods, earthquakes,disease and poverty
Not "I want 4 Xbox games but Mom only bought me 3"
Kids these days have no idea just how go they have it
Now get off my lawn dagnabbit.
Only first 2 lines were cereal.
=D>
And a:
<_>
Your writing is improving quite a bit. This rap was a lot more organized theme wise, where previous efforts were almost a collection of sentences that rhymed. This one was also more vivid with the words, so it created more of a story to be pictured in the mind. By far, you best effort yet. Btw, I only read the lyrics, haven't listen to it. "Today was black..." was favorite line.
The bad:
Some of the wording was a little awkward or clumsy. Try to even out the flow of the rhymes a little more, and look for ways to line up the sentences to ryhme in more places any time you can.
The ugly:
You really do live in suburbia lol. You problems aren't that bad in the grand scheme of things, and most people are not got wanna hear the problems of a middle class white kid. Find strenght in your struggles, but dont dump them on people, they have there own shit to deal with.
But thanks a lot! \m/ That's actually exactly what I was going for with this. I was listening to Nightmare by Tyler, and it's the same concept, very deep song, spilling out all of his problems, and I wanted to go for that myself, and try to stick on one subject the entire song, as to form a sort of story, and although it was a lot harder to write, I'm very happy with the end result.
I like that line, nicely done.
With your partner?
There is some good rap out there but it all seems to be underground