In search of some advice.

mrAPE

My uncle is currently in the hospital with bone cancer and it's spread completely over him. Currently he is on dialysis (sp?) hooked up to a ventilator. It's bad enough that they are just waiting for all the family to make it in to see him before he decides to be taken off the ventilator. Once that happens he will be with us about 2 maybe 3 days. My dad is a wreck about it but he isn't showing it much around me I want to console him but I'm thinking this maybe one of those times to just give space. Is that what I should do? Just give him space to let him deal with it on his own. I've never lost a family member this close so this is all new to me.

JLRedWing13

Shit, sorry to hear that dude. I guess you could ask if he wants to talk about it?

ZmbieFlavrdCupcakes

my dad was the same way when my sister died
i let him have his space but i let him help me
him helping me to deal with greif made him feel better actually
it took his focus off of what he was feeling
if that makes any sense...?

so let him chill for now but you could try asking him for help
maybe once he sees that its normal to grieve and his son is hurt hell open up a bit

mrAPE

You lost your sister? Damn I can't even imagine going through that. I had a friend of mine die in a freak accident in high school( got hit by a baseball in the chest between heartbeats ) but that's the only death I've really felt with.

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

idk really because the only family member ive lost is my aunt, and my uncle is super religious, so he was strangely calm throughout the whole thing. sad and grieving, no doubt, but he had that "she is in a better place" attitude.

id talk to him about it.

PrimalScream31

I'm sorry man.

Guys deal with things like this a lot differently. Me personally I'd give space but keep checking in with him.

A friend of my wifes dad died last week and her husband (his dad) acted good through the entire thing. the funeral was on saturday and he was still good but she told my wife that he broke down on Tuesday and pretty much cried all day.

Its a tough situation that all of us will have to deal with at some point.

(

ZmbieFlavrdCupcakes

life is cruel

Behemoth24

Just give him his space but you also should tell him that you're there for him if he wants to talk.

MarcTheFallen

thats how i was when my uncle died couple days before x-mas. i held a lot of things in and we buried him on x-mas eve. went home and broke down crying most of the day. guys do handle things differently. just give him some space and check on him here and there. sorry ape.

laurjohn2

I found with my dad i can't be direct. I have to get him to approach me. usually i hint thru emails and texts till finally he talks to me. Everyone's different, but thats what works with me

sbs_will

shit dude, thats awful.

I dont know, I would just give him space, and then see if he wants to talk about it.

mrAPE

Thanks everyone. A loss is never easy but hopefully it goes over as smoothly as possible. I don't want to see my uncle suffer more then he has to and already has been.

Ace_Deputy_Cheeze

Sorry to hear that man.

NOCAP

I wouldn't know what to do, when I lose people I love the most I just go into a mute depression for months.

Brian

I'm sorry dude...

Alec29

Sorry to hear about your uncle. Cancer is a very ugly disease (my wife has it). Try and just ask your dad how he's doing and if there is anything you can do for him. Sounds lame but hug your dad and let him know you're there for him. You'd be surprised how much a hug will help you both.

cherry_or_gtfo

Exactly what Alec said. Me and my dad went thru a lot when my mom died. It took a while for him to talk to me about it. Just let him know that you're there if he needs you.

Shane

brutal

mrAPE

They took him off the ventilator around 6 so I guess now it's just a waiting game. I haven't even seen my dad in two days they have been at the hospital and they said they didn't want me to come out because I think all the brothers 5 of them want tthe time for them plus I don't think my dad wants me to see my uncle like that

Santana

Oh wow. I'm really sorry about that. When your dad gets home I would ask if he wants to talk about it but don't push it any further

mrAPE

Well he called me. My uncle mike passed a little bit ago. Oy this sucks.