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Metal: T'was the Night Before Christmas
T’was the night before Christmas, when through the garage
The band members plugged in and set up to charge
Through one last run through their set, no mistakes,
So they could finally take their long-awaited Christmas break.
After the jam, guitars were laid down
And to the bars they went, out on the town.
It had been a long time since they enjoyed such cheer.
After all, it has been quite a hectic music year.
They gathered ‘round a table with drinks in hand
And talked about the year’s news from their favorite artists and bands.
“What happened in music?” chirped a friend with no clue
“Well, let me tell you” and AJ began a review…
“We lost some great players over the past year.
Paul Gray, Peter Steele, and Ronnie James Dio are sadly no longer here
But their spirits live on through their musical pasts
And hopefully Nergal from Behemoth will kick leukemia’s ass.
The Big Four shows got a ton of press
And Slash released a solo album with many a guest.
Axl Rose sued Activision and surprised we are not,
While AC/DC’s drummer got busted on possession of pot.
Dave Mustaine welcomed back Ellefson onstage
While his autobiography certainly stirred up some rage.
Music nerds praised the roc doc from Rush
And Weezer’s new album deserved to get flushed.
Mike Portnoy left Dream Theater to everyone’s dismay
But Soundgarden is back, indeed a glorious day.
Then Sully from Godsmack insulted Scott Stapp
But Creed sucks anyway, so who gives a crap?
Ozzy and Zakk parted ways in peace
Then Apple announced a special Beatles release.
Steven Tyler a judge on American Idol…a disgrace,
And Kirk Hammett inadvertently kicked a little kid in the face.”
Back to the rehearsal space the band then returned
And presents waited, as they would soon learn.
Next to the drum set was a great sight to see
With brand new gear laid out, the band called out “SWEET!!”
They dug into their gifts and began to drool
Over strings, jazz picks the latest Pro Tools.
“We’ve got all we need for next year!” exclaimed Henry
And Tapley held up a new JPX-6, the object of everyone’s envy.
“Where did this stuff come from?” Brett asked perplexed.
“Who cares?” said Dean plugging in his Axe-FX.
They all then envisioned enthusiastic applause
Stoked to use their gear from an unseen musical Santa Claus.
The band then retired, happy and content,
Pleased at how great the night’s events went.
As Travis stood up to turn out the light,
He summed it all up; “Christmas is awesome everyone, goodnight.”
The band members plugged in and set up to charge
Through one last run through their set, no mistakes,
So they could finally take their long-awaited Christmas break.
After the jam, guitars were laid down
And to the bars they went, out on the town.
It had been a long time since they enjoyed such cheer.
After all, it has been quite a hectic music year.
They gathered ‘round a table with drinks in hand
And talked about the year’s news from their favorite artists and bands.
“What happened in music?” chirped a friend with no clue
“Well, let me tell you” and AJ began a review…
“We lost some great players over the past year.
Paul Gray, Peter Steele, and Ronnie James Dio are sadly no longer here
But their spirits live on through their musical pasts
And hopefully Nergal from Behemoth will kick leukemia’s ass.
The Big Four shows got a ton of press
And Slash released a solo album with many a guest.
Axl Rose sued Activision and surprised we are not,
While AC/DC’s drummer got busted on possession of pot.
Dave Mustaine welcomed back Ellefson onstage
While his autobiography certainly stirred up some rage.
Music nerds praised the roc doc from Rush
And Weezer’s new album deserved to get flushed.
Mike Portnoy left Dream Theater to everyone’s dismay
But Soundgarden is back, indeed a glorious day.
Then Sully from Godsmack insulted Scott Stapp
But Creed sucks anyway, so who gives a crap?
Ozzy and Zakk parted ways in peace
Then Apple announced a special Beatles release.
Steven Tyler a judge on American Idol…a disgrace,
And Kirk Hammett inadvertently kicked a little kid in the face.”
Back to the rehearsal space the band then returned
And presents waited, as they would soon learn.
Next to the drum set was a great sight to see
With brand new gear laid out, the band called out “SWEET!!”
They dug into their gifts and began to drool
Over strings, jazz picks the latest Pro Tools.
“We’ve got all we need for next year!” exclaimed Henry
And Tapley held up a new JPX-6, the object of everyone’s envy.
“Where did this stuff come from?” Brett asked perplexed.
“Who cares?” said Dean plugging in his Axe-FX.
They all then envisioned enthusiastic applause
Stoked to use their gear from an unseen musical Santa Claus.
The band then retired, happy and content,
Pleased at how great the night’s events went.
As Travis stood up to turn out the light,
He summed it all up; “Christmas is awesome everyone, goodnight.”
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