drinkwine732Posts: 20,418destroyer of motherfuckers
Went HAM at the library today. I was like, looking around at all these meathead guys and was thinking, "lol, do you even study?" Stupid ass motherfuckers make my ego go wild every time I step into the stacks. But anyway, I totally maxed out on Hemingway today, and I made it through 200 pages in 15 minutes, a new max for me on the American Fiction. Afterward I went over to the Finance section and there was this one guy who was like..."deriv...deriv..." and I just shout in his face in the quiet section "DERIVATIVES, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS" and bust up laughing. His bitch looked a little angry and called me a dick, but I saw her looking at my Q world pricing equations when he wasn't looking. Yeah, bitch wants my 12% annual rate of return.
i dialed a wrong number once, i thought i remembered the number to the doctor's office but alas it was not correct. Guy answers and I said I'm sorry I called the wrong number and he said are you sure, i said yes i am and he said well that's ok, we can still chat.... lol
My phone number is the old number to this place called "leather pros" and so I get their phone calls even though I've had the number for over 5 years. Anyways, sometimes I like to fuck with wrong numbers and my favorite one went something like
"Hello is this Leather Pros?" "Yes. Thank you for calling. How can I help you?" "How much would it cost to fix a rip in a leather seat in my Cadillac Escalade" "How big is the rip?" "It's about 2 inches long" "Oh man.... Yeah that is going to be pretty expensive!" "Really? How much?" "Well you are looking at least at 10 dollars" "Wow really!?! And you wont be able to see it ever happened?" "Well no... for that price I would just put a denim patch over the rip in the leather" "Well can't you make it so you can't tell?" "Ohhhh.... You want to not tell the rip ever happened? Well that is REALLLY Expensive!" "Oh that sucks. How much?" "twenty dollars" "Really? and you'll never be able to tell?" "Yep... They will look like brand new seats. I even give every customer a free pine tree car fresher" "Sounds awesome! When Can I bring it in?" "What works for you? Ill work around your schedule." "Thursday at 10?" "sounds good. You know the address?" "yes" "see you thursday at 10 then"
WakeOfAshesPosts: 21,665destroyer of motherfuckers
I was laughing so hard when I hung up the phone and was lucky to not bust out while pranking the dude. When I told him 20 dollars I almost lost it. I thought for sure it was too obvious that I was claiming 20 dollars was REALLY Expensive. nope. )
Soooo last night while I'm at the bar this girl I know admitted she likes me as we were texting. Big success.
I hope you left the bar right after that and went back to her crib.
She's in South Carolina right now. Just got done skyping with her for the past 3+ hours. Can't wait for her to get back in town, haven't been this happy in quite awhile.
Comments
total friend zone
L-)
"Hello is this Leather Pros?"
"Yes. Thank you for calling. How can I help you?"
"How much would it cost to fix a rip in a leather seat in my Cadillac Escalade"
"How big is the rip?"
"It's about 2 inches long"
"Oh man.... Yeah that is going to be pretty expensive!"
"Really? How much?"
"Well you are looking at least at 10 dollars"
"Wow really!?! And you wont be able to see it ever happened?"
"Well no... for that price I would just put a denim patch over the rip in the leather"
"Well can't you make it so you can't tell?"
"Ohhhh.... You want to not tell the rip ever happened? Well that is REALLLY Expensive!"
"Oh that sucks. How much?"
"twenty dollars"
"Really? and you'll never be able to tell?"
"Yep... They will look like brand new seats. I even give every customer a free pine tree car fresher"
"Sounds awesome! When Can I bring it in?"
"What works for you? Ill work around your schedule."
"Thursday at 10?"
"sounds good. You know the address?"
"yes"
"see you thursday at 10 then"
... Im an asshole