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  • Rex_Capone420Rex_Capone420 Posts: 69,973 spicy boy
  • SATANSATAN Posts: 25,950 spicy boy
    ... said:
    I'd like to get some honest opinions on something, if that's alright. After busting ass for 4 years doing this music photography stuff, doing 50+ shows a year, traveling and shooting shows in 7 states and Idk how many fucking cities, I've finally started to get actual recognition and credibility in what I do. I still have a lot of work and learning to come, but it feels like I'm taken at least somewhat seriously now. But with all that being said, I've been thinking on it for the last 2-3 months, and I've come to a few conclusions. One of which is realizing that out of everywhere I've been, my own home state and general areas (Tampa, orlando, st Pete etc) is the one that's given me the least support. I've noticed that people only promote their buddies, even though most of them suck at it. Not to say I'm the best or anything though. Its just a little disheartening to know how fucking little a scene gives a shit after all I've done for Idk how many local bands and venues. On top of that, I've come to the realization that I don't love doing this anymore, that it's become a job over a passion or hobby. It doesn't make me happy, it's more of a distraction. I just don't know if I should keep going with it, even if it's not what I love, or if I should reconsider other options within my construction job. It's physically much more straining, but the money and travel is better. So yeah, I guess Idk what I'm really looking for. 

    I think if you stop now, you'll regret it the rest of your life. Who gives a shit if a "scene" shows you love? Especially a shitty Florida scene nobody cares about. That's just here today, bankrupt and drug addicted tomorrow people. You think you've achieved notoriety but until you're shooting for Noisy or Pitchfork or some other relevant site, you haven't really made it, have you? You're just getting to base camp. Gotta scale the summit before you expect for people to give a shit. I don't believe for a second that you don't really dig what you do. I just don't think you're getting the reward from it that you think you deserve. Be patient. 
  • FIRENATHANIELHACKETTFIRENATHANIELHACKETT Posts: 35,453 spicy boy
    Yeah i'm with Satan. Instead of giving up just reflect and really try and find what is making you not enjoy this like you used to. Make a change if you need but dont drop it completely.

    i've known too many people who were talented at something artistic and gave up when it got rough or they had these same feelings so they got a day job. I guarantee 100% of them regret it
  • ...... Posts: 31,548 master of ceremonies
    ... said:
    I'd like to get some honest opinions on something, if that's alright. After busting ass for 4 years doing this music photography stuff, doing 50+ shows a year, traveling and shooting shows in 7 states and Idk how many fucking cities, I've finally started to get actual recognition and credibility in what I do. I still have a lot of work and learning to come, but it feels like I'm taken at least somewhat seriously now. But with all that being said, I've been thinking on it for the last 2-3 months, and I've come to a few conclusions. One of which is realizing that out of everywhere I've been, my own home state and general areas (Tampa, orlando, st Pete etc) is the one that's given me the least support. I've noticed that people only promote their buddies, even though most of them suck at it. Not to say I'm the best or anything though. Its just a little disheartening to know how fucking little a scene gives a shit after all I've done for Idk how many local bands and venues. On top of that, I've come to the realization that I don't love doing this anymore, that it's become a job over a passion or hobby. It doesn't make me happy, it's more of a distraction. I just don't know if I should keep going with it, even if it's not what I love, or if I should reconsider other options within my construction job. It's physically much more straining, but the money and travel is better. So yeah, I guess Idk what I'm really looking for. 

    I think if you stop now, you'll regret it the rest of your life. Who gives a shit if a "scene" shows you love? Especially a shitty Florida scene nobody cares about. That's just here today, bankrupt and drug addicted tomorrow people. You think you've achieved notoriety but until you're shooting for Noisy or Pitchfork or some other relevant site, you haven't really made it, have you? You're just getting to base camp. Gotta scale the summit before you expect for people to give a shit. I don't believe for a second that you don't really dig what you do. I just don't think you're getting the reward from it that you think you deserve. Be patient. 
    I'm over the Florida scene in general at this point. There's still some cool bands, but there's no actual "scene", just a pissing contest. I've gotten more help out of the Nashville, Baltimore and Worcester scenes in 7 months or less each than i have in years with FL. It's just aggravating considering the amount of time i put into it, or at least that I tried. Regardless, I never said i actually "made it". I know I'd have years for that to actually happen, I've done media/journalism for roughly 7 years now, and the photography stuff for 4 years. Most of the people i know who do this stuff have done it for two or three times as long, and are still pushing. I think you can say you've "made it" when you can do it for a living, which not many can. But i can honestly tell you that going to shows doesn't excite me as much anymore. Even when it's bands i enjoy, there are times when i just don't even want to be there and be around people. Even then, 50% of the shows i do are shows I would have no interest in attending if not for the business of it. And I'll be completely honest with you, part of it is just that it takes up so much time, and it keeps me away from certain people sometimes. I don't have a doubt in my mind that while it wasn't the sole reason, it (as well as my construction job) played a part in ruining the only relationship I've ever had that actually mattered at all. Just the being away so much aspect of it. Hell, I haven't actually had one at all in about a year at this point. Not to say it's the most important thing, i just kinda miss being able to just want to be around/with anyone. That is honest-to-god the only reason i ever go back to FL, is to be around the few people i actually want to be around. I don't mind the crew i work in, but we're so different that i have no interest in going out with them. I love traveling, but I will fully admit that it gets lonely after a while, at times. And yes, I realize most people's answers to that would be "go out and meet new people". I work 6 days a week, plus i shoot 50-60 shows a year (most of the time I'm too preoccupied at shows anyways). The very little time I have to myself, I'm too tired and sore to go out anywhere. I honestly can't even remember the last time I went to a movie theater, or hell, the last time i sat and watched a movie with someone. 95% of my time is working, sleeping, eating and traveling. My co-worker told me he thinks I'm depressed. And I was for a long time, but now I understand the difference between being depressed and just simply being exhausted. I won't argue that it might play a small part in it, but yeah. Not to mention my add, mild ocd and insomnia don't exactly help the situation either. Mix it all with extreme stubbornness. I will literally convince myself everything is fine, and to just keep going and going. But fuck man, I'm just beyond tired. I feel like i could sleep for a week. But now i have to go edit these Strawberry Girls show photos that I should've been doing instead of writing this extremely and unnecessarily long post......inb4 TLDR. 
    inb4lists
  • ...... Posts: 31,548 master of ceremonies
    Jesus christ that was TLDR and terribly written. 
    inb4lists
  • Stoned_CatzStoned_Catz Posts: 34,915 jayfacer
    werdz


    [-(

    blue turbins

    From Those Fishes - I Fingered An Old Bitch (i got Aids on my finger)


  • FLATFLAT Posts: 60,839 spicy boy
    Debating going straight edge again :-?
    At least not going to drink this month.
    You already did 
  • MetalCoresadesMetalCoresades Posts: 58,036 spicy boy
    LOOT said:
    Debating going straight edge again :-?
    At least not going to drink this month.
    You already did 
    Not going to drink again at least until Midwest.
    Do You Like Hurting Other People?
  • ...... Posts: 31,548 master of ceremonies
    Jobe said:
    Somebody give this queer a hug. He needs one, but I'm not doing it.
    You sound like you need one more than I do. :-?
    inb4lists
  • SATANSATAN Posts: 25,950 spicy boy
    It's so frustrating for me to see anyone under 25 depressed. I just wanna be like "You think it sucks now..."
  • MetalCoresadesMetalCoresades Posts: 58,036 spicy boy
    Life sucks and just gets worse. Depression will never go away.
    Do You Like Hurting Other People?
  • Me_Me_ Posts: 13,701 salt miner
    It's so frustrating for me to see anyone under 25 depressed. I just wanna be like "You think it sucks now..."
    They have no idea...once kids happen..lol
  • Me_Me_ Posts: 13,701 salt miner
    In before "I AINT HAVING NO KIDS"...I said the same thing
  • SATANSATAN Posts: 25,950 spicy boy
    Yeah lol same!
  • MetalCoresadesMetalCoresades Posts: 58,036 spicy boy
    I dont have to worry about even if I did want kids
    Do You Like Hurting Other People?
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