I've been somewhat aimlessly walking around this city for the last couple days, visiting the spots I used to go to for certain times. It's something I haven't done for a good while. I've just been reflecting on my life, most of which I have spent here. There are so many memories here that i wish i could just erase from my memory, things I never would have ever thought would happen. Not always necessarily to me, but to people I've known. I saw my friend get beaten for basically no reason, after which I was beaten up a bit for trying to stand up for him. Or how after coming back from a trip to Atlanta, i get home to find out one of my two closest friends had taken their own life that weekend while I was gone. That shook me more than anything, mostly because she was the strongest person I've ever know, despite dealing with mental and emotional abuse from her family for most of her life.
But at the same time there are the moments i remembered while walking around certain parts here, moments I'd give anything to have back. From walking across the city at 3 in the morning with the best person and friend I've ever known, going to the old drive in theatre here (that has since closed down). To things like waking up to someone i cared about for the first time, whom was also the first person I ever kissed. Falling for someone for the first (and only, so far) time, as well as the hole in the wall local shows I went to at this tiny little record store/venue that used to be here till it closed a year ago.
I know this sounds way too fucking sappy and it probably is, but thinking about those little (and not so little) things over the last few days has not only made me feel better overall, but it makes me want to move on even more so now. I guess I'm just tired of barely going by on the minimum. There's a lot i want to do, places i want to go too, and things that I eventually want to be able to make my reality. Truthfully, more than anything else in the world, i want a family, especially a little girl. Not for another few years, obviously, I'm nowhere near ready for that yet haha. But yeah, it's been quite a few days to say the least.
I don't really expect anyone to read this, and i definitely don't expect anyone to give a shit about it. I'm mostly just thinking to myself. So yeah. /reminiscent moment
That makes complete sense, since i don't normally listen to any pop punk at all.
Edit - Eh fuck it, i don't care to get into some dumb and pointless argument. I like revisiting the spots throughout the city I used to go to often. There's one particular that always felt like my own, just cause i never saw anyone else out there. Just because you seem to have given up on just about everything you've wanted, and are stuck on what's going on right now, doesn't mean everyone else will. I like reminiscing because i truly was happy with the way things were, and i would do anything to be able to go back and relive it. I'm never going to have those times back, which does suck, but yeah. If you want to be such a cynical asshole that's so afraid of rejection that he refuses to try anything anymore, go the fuck ahead. Meanwhile I'll be over here wanting to try and make what I want happen. And truthfully even if i never get half of those things, I'll still be happier and better off than you. So have fun with it. /goodnight
I've been somewhat aimlessly walking around this city for the last couple days, visiting the spots I used to go to for certain times. It's something I haven't done for a good while. I've just been reflecting on my life, most of which I have spent here. There are so many memories here that i wish i could just erase from my memory, things I never would have ever thought would happen. Not always necessarily to me, but to people I've known. I saw my friend get beaten for basically no reason, after which I was beaten up a bit for trying to stand up for him. Or how after coming back from a trip to Atlanta, i get home to find out one of my two closest friends had taken their own life that weekend while I was gone. That shook me more than anything, mostly because she was the strongest person I've ever know, despite dealing with mental and emotional abuse from her family for most of her life.
But at the same time there are the moments i remembered while walking around certain parts here, moments I'd give anything to have back. From walking across the city at 3 in the morning with the best person and friend I've ever known, going to the old drive in theatre here (that has since closed down). To things like waking up to someone i cared about for the first time, whom was also the first person I ever kissed. Falling for someone for the first (and only, so far) time, as well as the hole in the wall local shows I went to at this tiny little record store/venue that used to be here till it closed a year ago.
I know this sounds way too fucking sappy and it probably is, but thinking about those little (and not so little) things over the last few days has not only made me feel better overall, but it makes me want to move on even more so now. I guess I'm just tired of barely going by on the minimum. There's a lot i want to do, places i want to go too, and things that I eventually want to be able to make my reality. Truthfully, more than anything else in the world, i want a family, especially a little girl. Not for another few years, obviously, I'm nowhere near ready for that yet haha. But yeah, it's been quite a few days to say the least.
I don't really expect anyone to read this, and i definitely don't expect anyone to give a shit about it. I'm mostly just thinking to myself. So yeah. /reminiscent moment
In the car I just can't wait, to pick you up on our very first date Is it cool if I hold your hand? Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance? Do you like my stupid hair? Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear? I'm too scared of what you think You make me nervous so I really can't eat
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Or maybe you just can't read :-?
But at the same time there are the moments i remembered while walking around certain parts here, moments I'd give anything to have back. From walking across the city at 3 in the morning with the best person and friend I've ever known, going to the old drive in theatre here (that has since closed down). To things like waking up to someone i cared about for the first time, whom was also the first person I ever kissed. Falling for someone for the first (and only, so far) time, as well as the hole in the wall local shows I went to at this tiny little record store/venue that used to be here till it closed a year ago.
I know this sounds way too fucking sappy and it probably is, but thinking about those little (and not so little) things over the last few days has not only made me feel better overall, but it makes me want to move on even more so now. I guess I'm just tired of barely going by on the minimum. There's a lot i want to do, places i want to go too, and things that I eventually want to be able to make my reality. Truthfully, more than anything else in the world, i want a family, especially a little girl. Not for another few years, obviously, I'm nowhere near ready for that yet haha. But yeah, it's been quite a few days to say the least.
I don't really expect anyone to read this, and i definitely don't expect anyone to give a shit about it. I'm mostly just thinking to myself. So yeah. /reminiscent moment
Edit - Eh fuck it, i don't care to get into some dumb and pointless argument. I like revisiting the spots throughout the city I used to go to often. There's one particular that always felt like my own, just cause i never saw anyone else out there. Just because you seem to have given up on just about everything you've wanted, and are stuck on what's going on right now, doesn't mean everyone else will. I like reminiscing because i truly was happy with the way things were, and i would do anything to be able to go back and relive it. I'm never going to have those times back, which does suck, but yeah. If you want to be such a cynical asshole that's so afraid of rejection that he refuses to try anything anymore, go the fuck ahead. Meanwhile I'll be over here wanting to try and make what I want happen. And truthfully even if i never get half of those things, I'll still be happier and better off than you. So have fun with it. /goodnight
to pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat