YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS? (NSFW)

SATAN

That's part of the reason I'm not a fan of highbrow literature. Most of the time, I can feel the author trying to manipulate me

Necrothulhu

Make a sammich that looks delish and add some laxative to it. Put it in a bag with your name on it and see who's going to the shitter. It will likely be the same dude that drank your pepsi

FLAT

Dead @ dickwagon )

KridesBrideBritt

I don't know. I might have to write a paper on this to sort it out. I love his writing style but his moralistic bullshit can get a bit annoying after a semester and a half reading his stuff and I still have another semester of his work.

OPP

CthulhuPuffs said:

Make a sammich that looks delish and add some laxative to it. Put it in a bag with your name on it and see who's going to the shitter. It will likely be the same dude that drank your pepsi

A guy at my friends work years ago brought in hash brownies for the team, but only offered it secretly to this guy he didn't like. Got him fired, but funny as balls.

FLAT

I would have thanked him and became best friends

OPP

Well what made it funny is because the victim was 16 and never got high before that. Apparently he just shit rivers )

FLAT

Oh fuck he was probably so fucking stoned

1D_for_life

I was unaware that it was pouring outside and I had to walk across campus to go get some food. This is what I get for staying in my room and watching Netflix... uh, I mean studying, all day

KridesBrideBritt

That happened to me a few hours ago.

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

So my sister, gf, and I go to the mall to christmas shop and we go into hot topic and I decide to get some bigger plugs for my ears. The worker girl came and unlocked the case for me. The worker and I chat about stretched ears for a grand total of 1 minute. I go back to my gf and sis and theyre both giving me the death glare. Apparently the girl and I were flirting

Magson13

How dare you, Jake. You practically had sex with her against the case!

Necrothulhu

)

Da_Muffinz

I wonder if your gf thought that employee was giving you an oral exchange. :>

FIRENATHANIELHACKETT

:>

Gnomez

Maybe it was the WAY you were discussing it?

HER: go ahead put it in here
YOU: what? In the shop in front of everyone?
HER: yeah go on no one is looking
YOU: so just shove it in? Won't it hurt?
HER: hey it'll be fine, slide it in I'm sure it'll fit ok
YOU: ok here we go, I wish I had a bigger one but this will have to do
HER: oh yeah that's it, just stick your finger in and guide it in
YOU: oh wow that feels great

Magson13

Friend is throwing a party the same night I'm throwing one..... Same thing happened last time I threw a party too......

SATAN

You should communicate with your friends more

FLAT

Left my car light on so my battery died. I can not catch a break.

NOCAP

I GOT WOKEN UP BY THESE NIGGAS PLAYING LOUD MUSIC AND HAVING THIS WEAK ASS FEMALE TWERK AT 3am AND FUCKING COOCH STINK HER CLIT MUSTY FUCK