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DARWIN AWARDS
So thanks to win in the heart atack grill thread i started thinking about the darwin awards and how much i appreciate people killing themselves off in stupid ways.
so post your favorite darwins.
darwinawards.com
i searched and could not find the story of my favorite one but have read it. i was how ever fortunate enough to remember they put it in a movie. it doesnt tell the entire thing about what happened but you get the idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMvWWcajsYo
so post your favorite darwins.
darwinawards.com
i searched and could not find the story of my favorite one but have read it. i was how ever fortunate enough to remember they put it in a movie. it doesnt tell the entire thing about what happened but you get the idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMvWWcajsYoYou tryin to be a hero fool? You wanna see badass mother fucker?! I'll show ya a badass!!!
Comments
A Chronicle of Enterprising Demises
Honoring those who improve the species...by
accidentally removing themselves from it!
can i have some examples?
(1996) Police in George, WA issued a report on the events leading up to the deaths of Robert Uhlenake, 24, and his friend, Ormond D. Young, 27, at a Friday night Metallica concert.
Uhlenake and Young were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater after the show. Uhlenake was in pickup that was on top of Young at the bottom of a 20-ft drop. Young was found with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions, and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off the ground, adding to the mystery of the heretofore unexplained scene.
According to Commissioner-In-Charge Inoye Appleton, Uhlenake and Young had tried to get tickets for the sold-out concert. When they were unable to get any tickets, the two decided to stay in the parking lot and drink. Once the show began, and after the two had consumed 18 beers between the them, they hit upon the idea of scaling the 7-foot wooden security fence around the perimeter of the site and sneak in.
They apparently moved the truck up to the edge of the fence and decided that Young would go over first and assist Uhlenake. They did not count on the fact that, while it was a 7-foot fence on the parking lot side, there was a 23-foot drop on the other side.
Young, who weighed 255 lbs. and was quite inebriated, jumped up and over the fence and promptly fell about half the distance before a large tree branch broke his fall and his left forearm. He also managed to get his shorts caught on the branch. Since he was now in great pain and had no way to extricate himself and his shorts from the tree, he decided to cut his shorts off and fall to the bushes below.
As soon as he cut the last bit of fabric holding him on the branch, he suddenly plummeted the rest of the way down, losing his grip on the knife. The bushes he had depended on to break his fall were actually holly bushes, and landing in them caused a massive number of cuts. He also had the misfortune of landing squarely on a holly bush branch, effectively impaling himself. The knife, which he had accidentally released 15 feet up, now landed and stabbed him in his left thigh. He was in tremendous pain.
Enter his friend Robert Uhlenake.
Uhlenake had observed the series of tumbles and realized that Young was in trouble. He hit upon the idea of lowering a rope to his friend and pulling him up and over the fence. This was complicated by the fact that Uhlenake was outweighed by his friend by a good 100 lbs. Happily, despite his drunken state, he realized he could use their truck to pull Young out. Unfortunately, because of his drunken state, Uhlenake put the truck in reverse rather than into drive. He broke through the fence and landed on Young, killing him. Uhlenake was thrown from the truck and subsequently died of internal injuries.
"So that's how a dead 255 lb. man with no pants on, with a truck on top of him and a stick up his ass, came to be" said Commissioner Appleton
Rattler Got Your Tongue?
(1992, California) Snakes flick their forked tongues in the air to "smell" the world, collecting molecules and analyzing them by pressing thir tongue tips tips them into small olfactory pits. An inebriated twenty-year-old man, apparently unaware of this biological fact, took umbrage when a wild rattlesnake stuck out its tounge at him. Tit for tat! He held the rattler in front of his face and stuck his tongue out right back at it. The snake expressed its displeasure at this turn of events by biting the conveniently offered body part. The toxic venom swelled the man's face and throat, choking him to death
2003 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin
(September 2002, Germany) Three doctors from a Munich clinic published the following account in a highly respected medical journal. The man in question disqualified himself from a true Darwin Award by being smart enough to go to a hospital and admit what he'd done. The report is quoted directly from the journal, with the addition of bracketed "translations" that clarify the medical jargon.
"A 31-year-old man was admitted to the emergency unit with severe abdominal pain and vomiting for two hours. [He'd been sober enough to notice a problem for the last two hours.] An abdominal radiograph disclosed intestinal obstruction, and a small bowel follow-through study revealed a filling defect in the right-side jejunum. [His gut was backed-up because something was stuck in it]. Persistent exploration of the patient's history [he *really* didn't want to talk about it] disclosed a visit to the Munich Octoberfest the night before, during which the patient had ingested a condom filled with beer. [No, we don't know why, either].
"Upper endoscopy was unsuccessful in removing the condom. [We couldn't budge it.] Because the condom was localized close to the abdominal wall, it was finally punctated with a long needle under CT control. [We stuck a really big needle in it, and it burst.] Forty milliliters of a yellow clear liquid [we can't say in print that it was beer, because we were laughing so hard we didn't think to send it to the lab] were drawn off when the condom slid forward spontaneously. The next morning, the condom was identified in the patient's stool [a high-quality, leakage-resistant condom, showing that the man was at least attempting to nullify his influence on the gene pool,] and the patient was discharged in good condition."
The authors note, "To the best of our knowledge, this is the first report on intestinal obstruction caused by ingestion of a condom filled with an alcoholic beverage, and its successful transcutaneous treatment. [Hey, we always wanted to be the first doctors to do *something*!]"